“Well. I actually couldn’t SPEAK when I walked into the first class, as I was recovering from severe laryngitis and was on a strict vocal rest. So I had an unknown journey in front of me – not knowing where I would begin, how I would sound any time I sang, particularly for the first 4 – 6 weeks of class. My emotional blocks have to do with just DOing it… making the time, the priority, finding the energy and giving myself permission to focus on something that feels very much “just for me.”
I am not only talking but singing and my voice is… “back” isn’t the way I see it… more that I get to discover it every time I sing. I found it freeing to sing without expectation of producing a particular sound – just to stand up and be in the experience of singing it without knowing what the sound might be. It has been a great experience – that all I could do was accept what came out, without attempting to push it into anything but what it was. I am learning great technical tools and am so glad to have them going forward.
I love being in the group and seeing what each of our challenges are and witnessing our individual talents and strengths. It is really great to see each person in their moments of challenge – and amazingly, move through and find the next level. It is a little lesson every time someone gets up to work and encounters technical and personal limits and just keeps on going and growing. I love that rather than being in comparison mode, we are in support of each other and get to learn from all our experiences.
I am grateful for everyone’s courage in being seen working and playing – so personal and vulnerable, and particularly in singing. I am grateful for the acceptance and support I feel from the group – I felt no judgment around my scrapey, gravelly, airy voice when I walked in with “no voice”… and this made it easy to come into class without my own self-judgment.
Acceptance is my biggest take-away. Of my voice as it is today. Of my energy as it is right now. Of my ability to focus (or not!) It has been humbling and a struggle, but if I want to actually have the joy there is to be had in singing (and in my life) – I have to step back from expectation and accept where I am…. this is a huge lesson! I hope I am getting it!!!
Also, class has made me leave my demanding job an hour early!! It has certainly made me see that I want to work toward a greater balance between life and work…. and also to give myself a break and allow myself to come from the moment and do what I am able to do. I really appreciate the emphasis on enjoying singing without making it a task, and yet have so many tools made available to me when I am practicing.
Thanks for your patience, encouragement and your heart, Ruth”